Thursday, February 13, 2014

Five Proofs for the Existence of Santa Claus

Question 2, Article 3: Whether Santa Claus exists?

We proceed thus to the third article (of discussion): It seems that Santa Claus does not exist.

Objection 1. It seems that Santa Claus does not exist, because Christmas gifts are able to be given to us by the good elves. Therefore, Santa Claus does not exist.

Objection 2. If Santa Claus did exist, there would be no chimneys too narrow for him. But there are chimneys too narrow for him, and sometimes none at all. So Santa Claus does not exist.

On the contrary, Kay Starr says "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus’".

I answer that, The existence of Santa Claus can be proved in five ways.

The first and most manifest way is the argument from Christmas trees. It is certain and evident to our senses that some things in this world are Christmas trees. Now no fir becomes a Christmas tree unless it is trimmed. But to be trimmed means that one receives an ornament. And since one cannot go to infinity in the passing on of Christmas tree ornaments, there must be a first Untrimmed Trimmer, and this everyone understands to be Santa Claus.

The second way is from the motion of Christmas presents. In this world we find the giving of Christmas presents. Now he who gives Christmas presents either got them from someone else or made them in his workshop. And since if no one makes Christmas presents in his workshop, there won’t be any giving of Christmas presents, there must be a First Giver of Christmas presents, to which everyone gives the name Santa Claus.

The third way is from the plastic images of Santa Claus. In all department stores we see plastic things which represent Santa Claus. Now these things are representative either because of Santa Claus himself or because of other images of Santa. But there can be no infinite regression in representation, so there must be something which is like Santa Claus because it is Santa Claus.

The fourth way is taken from degrees of Christmas spirit. We see that people in this world have more or less Christmas spirit. But ‘more’ or ‘less’ can be said only in reference to a ‘most’. So there must be someone who has the most Christmas spirit, and this person we call Santa Claus.

The fifth way is from the conduct of children. As Christmas approaches, we see children, who lack intelligence, acting for an end, which is shown by their always being good, or almost always. But children would not be good for Christmas unless someone ensured that they be good. This someone is known by everyone to be Santa Claus.

Reply to Objection 1. Since the good elves got the presents they give from someone else, they must at most be Santa’s helpers.

Reply to Objection 2. It is not impossible that Santa Claus uses the door like everyone else.

Source: Summa Contra Scroogica

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